7 Lessons Learned During My 1st Year of Motherhood

This post is sponsored by Marleylilly.

This first year of motherhood had so many ups and downs. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I cried. Tears of happiness, sadness, frustration, anger. Tears for pretty much every emotion. I’ve learned a whole lot about myself. Today I’m self-reflecting on 7 lessons I’ve learned during this first year of being a mom. I’m sure there are many more lessons to come as we enter this new stage of toddlerhood. Let’s dive in!

1. Make Time for Yourself

You know how flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before tending to your child? Well, that principle can be applied to everyday life as well. I firmly believe that you can’t be a good mom unless you take care of yourself first. It’s not selfish, even though it may seem so. I’m not saying spend all your money on massages and facials, but it’s OK to spoil yourself every once in a while! I’ve personally seen firsthand that I’m a more attentive, happy, and all-around better mom when I take time for myself. One way I do this is by setting my alarm 15 minutes before I need to get up in the morning.  I use this time to catch up on the news, stretch in bed, or read a chapter of a book. I enjoy the quiet time before the craziness of the morning sets in. 

2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Moms 

This is probably the single most important lesson that I’ve learned during this past year. The comparison trap is real, especially for new moms. When I was on maternity leave, I had a lot of time to aimlessly scroll Instagram when Vienna was sleeping or nursing. I consumed so much content from moms with seemingly picture-perfect lives. Everyone’s house, marriage, children, etc. seemed better than my own. Social media left me feeing terrible and drained. I recently went through Instagram and unfollowed any account that didn’t bring me value and joy (thank you Marie Kondo!). Now when I’m scrolling, I’m left feeling inspired, motivated and grateful. I’ve also made it a point to showcase my real life on Instagram – the highs and the lows, including the days when Vienna is giving me a run for my money. Why? Because I want other moms to know that they aren’t alone and that sometimes I’m struggling to just make it through the day too. 

3. Ask for Help

This first year of motherhood was absolutely draining. I used to feel like a bad mom telling people this, but now I just embrace it. Motherhood is tough, and I think we ought to stop sugarcoating things. The to-do list I made for myself on most days felt never ending. Cook, clean the house, feed and change Vienna, play with our dog, do laundry, sanitize bottles, pump breast milk – all while also working full-time. Some nights I was so exhausted that I’d almost fall asleep in the shower. Bryan was always willing to help, but many times I never asked for any (eventually he just started doing things whether I needed help or not.) I thought being busy and overwhelmed was just part of being a mom. I thought I was superwoman and could take on the world, but quickly learned that I have a breaking point. I’d let everything pile on until I was so physically and emotionally drained that I would burst out in tears. Now I do my best to ask for help whether I think I’ll need it or not, because things just run smoother that way.

4. Find Grace in the Chaos

Thanks to Instagram influencers, I assumed everyone with kids had pristine homes with white rugs, perfectly styled nurseries and clutter-free living rooms. That’s not reality, at least not for my family. I’ve come to terms with the fact my living room will always have a play area, my Sundays will be spent doing laundry and food shopping, and bows will always be scattered around Vienna’s nursery. But you know what? The chaos makes life interesting. 

5. Keep Baby Wipes Everywhere

Messes happen a lot. I’ve learned this the hard way and now keep baby wipes everywhere, including my purse, diaper bag, my car and Bryan’s car. Anywhere Vienna might be… there’s wipes on hand. Vienna has sensitive skin, so I make sure the wipes are perfume-free and have just a few ingredients. 

6.  Enjoy Cliché Moments

When I found out I was having a baby girl, I swore I wouldn’t be that mom who bought everything pink. I also swore that I’d keep Vienna’s bow collection under control. Clearly, I have no self control. Yes I am a cliché girl-mom and I’m OK with that. I’m so excited that Vienna is old enough now for us to wear matching outfits. It’s pretty much the most adorable thing on the planet and it warms my heart. When Marleylilly asked me if I’d be interested in receiving matching sweatshirts, how could I say no? I picked out this monogrammed pullover for me and this monogrammed zip fleece hoodie for Vienna. I’m looking forward to wearing these all spring long! 

7. Sleep Whenever & Wherever You Can

Vienna’s naps are a lot more predictable now than during the newborn period. Every once in a while though, usually on the weekends, her nap schedule is up in the air. I can’t always drop what I’m doing and nap when she does, but I’ve learned to take advantage of quiet time whenever and wherever that may be. Oddly enough, my favorite time to catch a few ZZZs is in the car when Bryan is driving. Vienna generally loves car rides and will either nap or keep herself occupied with a book or toy. It’s one of the few times that I can close my eyes and relax for a while. 

// If you’re a new mom, what are some lessons you’ve recently learned?