Around this time, it’s hard not to think about your mom. Mothers Day is on Sunday. For me, this day every year I always think about the same thing. Mom. I think about what I’m going to write about at least a week in advance. This year was no different.
In case you’re interested, here is my post from last year– “Five Years Later”.
I’m not sure if I mentioned this is in past, but a lot of the memories from that part of my life is rather blurred. From what I do remember, my mom had cancer that eventually spread up to her brain.
Before my mom’s diagnosis, I knew a little bit about cancer but never knew anyone that close to me that had it. It seemed like such a far fetched disease until it happened to my mom. No matter what I imagined it being like, it was actually much worse. I can’t take credit for helping my mom that much during her illness, because I wasn’t there. That’s another story, but I was a raging teenager who didn’t know how to handle the situation, so I moved out and shut myself away from the whole thing.
I wasn’t there to help with Chemo & Radiation. I wasn’t there when they brought her home from the hospital. I wasn’t there to take care of her day-to-day.
I was there, however to see the side effects and I wouldn’t ever wish that on anyone. I was there when she started losing chunks of hair. I remember the smell of her radiation treatments. I was there when she was in a coma at home. Never sure if she was ever going to wake up (she eventually did for a short time). Never sure what the next day would bring. Being scared to visit her. Being scared if something terrible happened – would I know what to do? Would I know how to act?
There are so many things that I could say about this time in my family’s life 6 years ago, but it doesn’t seem right to divulge all that information here in a blog post. It just wouldn’t justify it. It would make it seem much more miniscule than it was. How can I truly express what that was like in a small blog post – I can’t. For those of you who have gone through losing a parent or anyone for that matter, to cancer, I commend you for moving forward. It sure is hard- but we have to. It’s what our loved one would have wanted.
Before I end this post, I want to mention a little bit about the National Brain Tumor Society. All of the info below has been found on the Brain Tumor Society website.
At the National Brain Tumor Society, their mission is to find better treatments, and ultimately a cure, for people living with a brain tumor today and those who will be diagnosed in the future. Their goal is to ensure that everyone in the brain tumor community has access to helpful information. The website provides different resources for those suffering with a brain tumor as well as opportunities for those looking for online communities or an in-person support group.
Me and Bryan at the National Brain Tumor Society’s Race for Hope 5K in 2011
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This was beautiful. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure your mom is looking down on you with nothing but pride.
Such a wonderfully written post, Nicole! I can’t imagine losing a parent at ANY time, but especially during the teen years; I’m sure it was so difficult. Thanks for sharing the info about the Brain Tumor Society.
Thanks, Erica. The Brain Tumor Society is such a great org. I’m trying to get more involved.
I cried reading this. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul, and was loved by many including myself!! You’re a very strong woman Nicole and I know for a fact your mother is proud of you everyday of your life! I love you so much and if you want to talk you can call me anytime!
Thanks for the kind words lady! So happy to have you in my life 🙂
Whenever I’ve been thinking about my mom I ultimately end up thinking about yours as well after reading your 5 year post. I know they’d be really proud of us and all that we’re doing. <3
Erin, same for me. Especially that we’re both planning weddings. <3 Thanks for commenting.
Nicole, I lost my grandmom 4 years ago to brain cancer. It is truly one of the worst things to see. I would like to run in the next National Brain Tumor Society’s next 5k. Are you going to run again?
Also…your post was beautiful and your mom is smiling down on you.
“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy”.
Jackie,
Yes, I’ll be running in the next 5K this fall/winter. Will you be there?
Yes, I am going to do it this year. I am running my first 5K next month…Color me Rad at the Please Touch Museum. I also am doing the Mud Run in Fairmount Park on July 13. Are you doing any this summer?
You and your mom look so much alike. You and Bry doing that run in her memory was a wonderful way to honor her.
Thanks Leslee! We’ve done it since 2011. Last year we paid to do it, but when we got down to the city there was no parking so we went home. Let’s hope this year is better 🙂
A charity means so much more when you see the faces behind it. Thanks for sharing your story and your mom with us!
Thank you for your kind words, Amy. I always believe that to be the care as well. A charity is only as much as the faces behind it.
nothing to add. this is really really beautiful.
youve honored her well.
Carla
🙂 Thanks Carla!