25 Things Every Woman Should Have by 25

I recently found an article floating around Facebook titled, “25 Things Every Woman Should Have by the Time She Turns 25” from ThoughtCatalog.com.  Since I’m 25, I figured it might be interesting to go through the list.

1. Enough confidence to no longer feel the need to justify what she eats, who she dates or what she wears, not only to other people, but to herself: Yes.  I don’t care if people find vegetarianism weird, I’m married to the man of my dreams, and I wear whatever I want anyway. 

2. A bank account with three months’ living expenses in it: This is a work in progress.  Now that the wedding is over, we can start setting aside more money to our savings account.

3. Only the phone numbers, Facebook friends, weekend plans, and roommates she actually wants: No.  I seriously need to go through my Facebook account and get rid of people that I don’t talk to anymore.

4. A best friend who is like a sister: Yes.  I have a few really close friends.  I’ve learned that a few close friends is much better than having many acquaintances.

5. A space of her own: Technically we don’t own our apartment, but it’s our home for now. 

6. A good idea of what she needs in a romantic relationship, not just what she wants, or what she thinks she needs, and the willingness to explore different people and other ideas to find what exactly that is: Yes.  I’m married.

7. A closet of what she considers to be her “staples,” and among these things, something to wear to an interview, funeral, wedding, impromptu Friday night drink at a casual bar and dream date if ever someone were to call out of the blue: Yes.  I will constantly need new clothes, because that’s what women do, but overall I think I have a few high quality basic pieces.

8. The tact and grace to ask for a raise, a promotion, a change in a relationship or a date with someone she’s into: Yes.  I’ve done this in the past.

9. The faith that she deserves those things: Yes.

10. A favorite coffee order, go-to restaurant for when friends visit from out of town, hairstyle that takes less than five minutes in the morning, “thank you” cards in her desk drawer, the print copy of her favorite book, and bedding that she is proud to show off: Yes.  My favorite coffee order is a triple grande, extra hot, caramel macchiato.  My go-to restaurant is Rock Bottom Brewery or Cheesecake Factory.  My quick hair style is straightening the ends and blow drying my bangs + a bit of volumizing mousse.  I have thank you cards in my desk drawer.  My favorite books, Motherless Daughters and The Secret, are both in print. I finally have bedding that I’m proud to show off.

11. A hobby that has nothing to do with drinking, shopping or somebody else: Yes.  Blogging counts, right?

12. The recipes for a number of easy but amazing meals memorized: Yes.  I make a pretty great spicy pasta dish.

13. The desire and discipline to actually cook for herself. (Just herself.): No.  I won’t lie.  If I’m home by myself for dinner, more often than not, I’ll just have cereal.

14. A trip she tells awesome stories about and a trip she has awesome plans for: Yes.  A trip I tell awesome stories about is my visit to San Diego in 2007 and 2008 to visit my cousin Amanda. I took my good friend Madeleine both years and it was a blast!  The upcoming trip is Jamaica for our honeymoon in August!

15. A sense that she’s let go of resenting other women for what they do or don’t have over her: Yes.

16. Enough of a healthy relationship with her body that her contentment no longer hinges on comparison, or what her partner would think: Yes, finally.  I’m glad Bryan doesn’t care when I have food babies or when my hair is a complete mess.

Our first real “trip” together: Washington D.C. in the middle of the night in 2009.

17. At least one date in her memory with the kind of partner who wouldn’t care about those things anyway: Yes.  I’m married to him, so that would be every day.

18. Forgiveness if she’s dated men who haven’t quite matured as quickly as women tend to in their early 20s: I don’t hold resentment to any of my exes.  Everyone makes mistakes and actually all of my previous relationships happened when I was I was a teenager/20 years old.  We were so young!

19. The knowledge of what she wants in bed and the confidence to ask for it without feeling uncomfortable: Sure.

20. An electric screw driver, a non-stick pan, a credit card line nobody else has access to, a bra that she was measured for at the store and working knowledge of how to change a tire, unclog a pipe, make an investment and find shoes on the extra 40% rack: Not completely.  Bryan and I own an electric screw driver and non-stick pan.  I have a credit card that’s only in my name, and a bra that I was measured for.  However, I don’t know how to change a tire, unclog a pipe, or make an investment. That being said, I have mastered the art of finding shoes on crazy-good sale.

21. A relationship with her mother, even if it’s the decision that their relationship will be at least functioning, if not familial: N/A

22. A passport, a sturdy piece of luggage, and the ability to pack the essentials at a moment’s notice should she be offered the chance to get away for a weekend, a week, or a whole new life: Not completely.  I have a passport and the ability to quickly pack up my essentials; but I don’t have a sturdy piece of luggage!

23. The following emergency kit: Tylenol/Advil, eyedrops, a tampon, hand sanitizer, a fresh pair of underwear, a travel sized toothbrush, hydrocolloid bandages for blisters, $20 cash, a condom, and Plan B:  Most of those things, yes. 

24. Forgiveness for who she was.  No one is perfect and every one grows up.  There are dozens of things I’ve done in the past and experiences I’ve been through that shaped me into the person I am today. 

25. An idea of who she wants to be.  I have a much longer commute to and from work than I used to, so I have time to think.  I love my alone time because it gives me a chance to reflect on the day, and set goals for the future. 

TALK TO ME

• Do you have an emergency kit on-hand?
• What’s your favorite go-to coffee order?
• Do you have a closet full of staple pieces?  If so, what’s your favorite thing?