5 Ways to Live a Healthy Life after Death of a Parent

Before I get into this post, I just wanted to say thank you for all the kind words you all have sent me yesterday on Twitter, Facebook, and here on my blog regarding my new job.  My first day went really well, and I’m looking forward to the start of a very long career in PR. 

I promise you I’m not super tall.  I’m actually really short at just under 5 foot 3.  It’s the shoes.

Anyway… I wrote this post a while back and never published it, because I wasn’t sure if anyone would care to read it.  I’m learning slowly to be more open about my experience, because I really want to influence others to be open to speaking about death.  I figured that now might be a good time.  Take it for what it is.  You might not be someone who has ever lost a parent, but you might know someone who has.  These are just my tips and advice. 

My mother was diagnosed with brain cancer on Easter of 2007. She died on May 9 of the same year. I was 18.

It happened so quickly. One day she was here. The next she was gone. I’ll never forget that day. I was awoken by my grandmother around 2am with, “Nic! Nic! Your mom’s gone.” My uncle came over quickly after I was awoken and sat with my sister and I in the kitchen to get our mind off of what was actually happening. We sat and talked while the ambulance took my mother’s body from her bedroom and out the front door. An image I luckily will never have to have instilled in my mind.

You’d think that an event so traumatic would leave a child completely damaged and changed forever. Although I don’t consider myself “damaged”, I am changed forever. The grieving process lasts an entire lifetime and sometimes I’ll have good days and others not so good. I am by no means a therapist, but these are the things that I’ve done to live a happy and healthy life after the death of a loved one.

1. Find support. Whether you find support from a family member, friend, therapist, support group or through your religion, support is an essential aspect of the grieving process. Do what works for you. If you’re not comfortable talking with a therapist, talk to a friend that you can confide in. Vocalizing your emotions can help you process what you’re going through.
2. Honor your loved one. Try not to shove all of the photos and memories of the person you lost into a drawer. It may take some time to be okay with seeing videos or photos of your loved one, but take out the memories when you’re ready. Another great way to honor your loved one is to do an activity or hobby in memory of him or her. Last year, my sister, boyfriend and I ran in the Race for Hope in Philadelphia in memory of my mother. The Race for Hope fundraises for the National Brain Tumor Society.
3. Keep yourself busy. Spend time with your friends, pick up a new hobby, visit new places and try new food. Do whatever it takes to start getting back into your normal routine again. It wasn’t easy keeping busy after the death of my mother. I had great friends who made sure I was leaving the house, took me out to dinner and tried to uplift my spirits.
4. Take care of yourself. It’s so important to make sure that you take care of yourself, not only mentally but also physically. Eat healthy foods and get regular exercise. When you are kind to your body, your mood will be affected. My two favorite ways to exercise are running and yoga, and both make me feel good about myself and my situation.
5. Give yourself time. Grief is a lifelong process and each person grieves differently. Take each day as it comes and don’t ever think that there is something wrong with you if you suddenly become upset years later.

When someone close to you dies, it feels like your entire world is crashing down. Believe me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Talk to Me

• Have you lost a parent?  Share your experiences below, if you want.
• What is your full-time job?
• How do you stay healthy while working full-time?  Share your tips below.